SNL Catechism

Every day when I worked downtown I'd take the same train at the same time, like most people. In fact, most likely I'd be in the car with the same people.

Nowadays, subway panhandling is much less common but in those days (1970s-1980s) it was quite common. Sometimes there would be two or more panhandlers on the train. Sometimes I'd see a woman who never talked but she handed out some kind of religious pamphlet to the passengers, one by one and then starting at one end of the car, she'd repeat it but this time asking for the pamphlets back and, presumably, money. I'd of course always stare at the newspaper and ignore her.

Another was the accordion player. I believe this was she. She never held onto a pole. You have to understand that the express trains go very fast and there are curves and when they go around the curves you can be tossed to the ground. But not the accordion player. She never held onto anything. But you know, I do not recall her ever playing anything. Years later I learned that she died walking between the cars.

So each morning for a while in the early 1980s I'd be on the train going downtown and for a while a man would get on at 42nd Street. As soon as the doors closed he'd start in:

"Ladies and gentlemen. I just got released from the V.A. I don't want to hurt anyone, I just need some money for food..." and so on. But the thing was, he's say the same thing each day, word for word. And so I'd sort of memorize his speech and when got on the train and started up, so would I (but very quietly).

And one evening I heard this same routine on Saturday Night Live.